01 August 2007

Last words in Russia

Here are some last words thet you may hear in Russia:

-"I have been travelling with Tupolev jets and they are as realiable as their western counterparts. Look, you can also open the cabin win-"

-(To the police officer) "Dobriy Den, Vi panimaete pa-angliyski?" (Do you speak English?)

-"It is really true that the Moscowite drivers are much more polite than...*THUMP*"

-"This must be the new hair style among the Russian youth. They shave it all off but it is strange that they carry chains and clubs with them..."

-(To the police officer) "Officer, I know my rights!"

-"Our building may be old but the elevators are just fixed"

(Note: Hail MOSLIFT! They have broken our clockwork 1950s elevator and installed a lame post-soviet edition which is out of order for its whole service life of 6 months. My arch-nemessis & neighbor Petrovich is blaming me for this. Maybe he must check the swastikas painted inside the elevator first. There are enough swastikas to design a regular Hitler Youth meeting.)

-"No discussion! The interior may be bad but this Lada Niva has the best transmission ever. Look how we glide down this slope..."

(Note: Lada Niva is a jeep or that is what the designers intended it to be.)

-"Why are you using those absurd filters for the tap water. I think it just tastes fine..."

-(To the police officer) "Where are we going?"

-"C'mon, it is not that cold outside!"

-"Why didn't you tell me that you were married?"

-(To the police officer) "Are you sure that we have come to the police station?"

-"I think this shaurma has a funny taste"

(Note: Shaurma is a hopeless derivation of doner and made by chicken, pork or other animals that have meats imitating the chicken or pork. It is delicately prepared by the gently toxic hands of Tadjik workers in desanitized kiosks...but it just costs 50 rubles (~2$) and much more cleaner than a McBurger)

-(Nearby a Neo-Nazi meeting) "I love Russia!"

-(In a train) "Will it stop in Moscow?"

Inspired by Suat Taspinar's article on www.turkrus.com

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