20 November 2006

Casino Royale Review

Normally I'd prefer the comfort of our home and the price of a dvd; but my expat friends, Henri and Teresa, suggested that seeing the new Bond movie in a "decent" theatre would be a good idea for a gloomy and freezing Moscowite sunday.

I have mentioned before that maybe all the movies shown in Russia are dubbed in Russian language. It may seem a little odd that maybe all Russians are literate and have a special devotion for spending their transportation time with something to read; but when it comes to their visual entertainment, they prefer to watch it with their own language. I respect that; but a mediocre russian speaker (like me) is to have a difficulty in understanding the plot of what is going on in the movie.

Maybe the sinister capitalists of Moscowite Movie Theatre industry must have realised that there are a bunch of bored expats who would spend their hard earned dollars in a overpriced movies in their original language. Nice idea indeed!

So we got our pop corn and coke and waited for 15 minutes in freezing weather for the back-door to be opened. Actually one should go through the kitchen or from the backdoor to reach the salon. It is a continuum of disgrace to be a foreigner here...

James Bond, ready for action after being defibrillated minutes ago

Anyway, the film was James Bond: Casino Royale and all the girls wanted to see the most famous hunk in the universe and all the boys wanted some kick-ass action, supercars and the most famous hunk in the universe with some supermodel girls. But we were wrong...the new James Bond came out to be a humanbeing like us. He bleeds, gets bruises and shouts out loud in a torture. (Remember how Sean Connery would hold his charms in a laser torture in Goldfinger). In my opinion, Daniel Craig is the best Bond so far in a way that he brings a human side to the character. Maybe that is why a bond movie without the gadgets, supercars (not counting an Aston Martin that we would see everyday on Moscow streets) and blonde bombshells, would give so much satisfaction to the audience. He even gets killed and defibrillates himself with the only supergadget he has. (I must ask my Dad if it is possible or not..)

The other new addition to the movie was the absence of a chief-nemessis or the boss with some hidden agenda to destroy the world (which is always explained before Bond is taken to a torture chamber..etc). The nemessis now is a banker called Le Chiffre (...who would call himself Le Chiffre anyway?..it is so uncool) with a bleeding eye and in constant agony to finance the terrorists who would fry his ass in case of a blank checque. The other sub-enemies include a yamakasi-afrikan guy that can hop off from towering cranes, a terrorist to blow up a super-plane, some other african terrorists with machetes...So you wouldn't see any Goldfinger, Blofeld or Octopussy in this movie (Those were the times with S.P.E.C.T.R.E and KGB) and this movie is filled with millions of scenes with SONY advertisements. The MI-6 uses SONY VAIO notebooks for ultra secret intelligence, somehow the girl gets shots of Venice scenery with a SONY CYBERSHOT and somehow surprisingly all the phones are SONY ERICSSON...I think I have to change my Samsung to be cooler now.

The things that I like in this movie: Bond gets wounded (we see his blood for the first time), No supermodel lovers for Bond (the girls are naturally beautiful unlike Ursula Andress), Bond gets a new drink with Vodka (check out he scene with Vodka-Martini), We see how Bond gets a "00" promotion, Bond gets kicked in the balls (A vengeance to all of us for his 20+ years of supermodel mating), Bond destroys an Aston Martin to save his girl (she is definitely worth it)

The things that I hated in this movie: Everything is a Sony, The suits look too good on Bond (jealousy!), Cameo of Charles Bronson in the airport scene (I hate that man, he is rich!)

..and some hot news that you can find only in Turkish Invasion:

Some of the football fans may remember him as Carlos Manuel from his pathetic performance as a midfielder in Portuguese National Football Team. He was deported from Portugal after scoring an own-goal and started an acting career in England with the name Daniel Craig. Who would have known that he would become James Bond?

Daniel Craig (or Carlos Manuel) with moustache and ambition in football

New hair, color lenses and no moustache...the new Bond

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