12 April 2007

Cosmonautics Day (Всемирный день авиации и космонавтики)

As a child of Cold War, I was one of the silly kids who wanted to be an astronaut in the future. The funny thing is that we had no idea in the start that a cosmonaut is a soviet equivalent to an astronaut; rather we thought that a cosmonaut is an evil communist agent who was sent to space to hunt our beloved astronauts down.

Gagarin in a spacesuit that resembles a Tie-Fighter pilot

But the reality is different from the american propaganda immersed in every citizen of the developing world that americans led in space technology (as they did in everything, like healthy (!) food and intelligent weaponry (to kill civilians with premium accuracy)). The only thing that they managed was the Shuttle Technology to bring back the spacecraft that took the astronauts and equipment to the space and an enormous economic relief to the space program. (The Soviets also has a shuttle, Buran (it is not related to Borat), but it wasnt that successful) The Soviets however were the first to send a probe, dog, man, woman and a space station to the space. (They succesfully brought back the first three but the latter, MIR, has burned to ashes). It is widely believed that the nonexistent shuttle technology has decided the winner of the space race. The already fragile economy of the Soviet Union couldn't bear the burden of sending trillion dollars of equipment to space and just bring back the cosmonauts and a Progress module (hardly cheaper than a Lada).

At first they tried to send him to space like this, but then used the rockets instead...

Anyway, in 12 April 1961, Yuri Alekseevich Gagarin, a small man (only 157 cm height) took a big leap into space and became an instant hero of the eminent victory of Socialism. The day when "Americans shit into their pants" (by Kruschev) became the Day of Cosmonautics a year later and widely celebrated throughout the USSR and the satellite states with the semi-artificial communist enthusiasm. Every child of Socialism dreamed of being in Gagarin's shoes one day (as every child of Capitalism dreamed of being a Beatle). The triumphs continued in space as numerous breakthroughs in science and technology were achieved (where on Earth, Soviet citizens had to wait in queues for toilet paper that resembled a overused sanding paper).

There are some people who make parties and get drunk to celebrate this day. Check out the link.

At the end, as with every race they dwelled with USA, The Soviets raised the white flag (instead of the red one) in Space and contributed their know-how with the evil capitalists...now as the Russian citizens prefer McDonalds over Russian cuisine, they are building an International Space Station but it is a well-known fact that there is no more wide-spread public enthusiasm for space exploration now. It only catches attention when a shuttle disintegrates on launch or a wealthy capitalist buys its way to the space station with millions of dollars earned by the exploitation of the third world.

An Instant Hero! Loved by millions of communists. it is rumored that he was killed by the Soviet leaders, who feared that his reputation was already higher than theirs.

A 40-meter titanium statue (erected in 1980) of Gagarin can be seen in Gagarin Square in Moscow.

A stereotypical image of a Soviet Hero. A medal for each minute he spent in space.

Поздравляю всех с этим замечательным праздником :)
Космос будет наш!

Note: Turkish Invasion is not anti-american. As all Turkish, he believes that America is our rightful ally and sole helper against the evil communists (who?). He just doesn't like the american monopolar dominance in the world and their crimes against humanity (which are somehow not judged)

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