A Big Break

There has been an involuntary break in the posting because I have been a victim of an organised crime wave whose evil aim is to reach local domination in laptop theft. So all my files (including the texts that I have prewritten for this blog) are gone...for good.

Anyway, the life goes on as I have been given a new one by my beloved company...

Here is what we have missed throughout that time on this blog:

1. Victor Yuschenko, the beast of the Beauty&Beast of Ukraine (and the beauty is Yulia Timoshenko as you have predicted already) is rumored to have not been poisoned by the Evil Russians but was ill after a heavy dinner (maybe with some radioactive fish from Dnepr river). The interesting fact is that the president fell ill after an alleged dinner with high ranking intelligence officers (seems like a lamb dining with the wolves) where high concentrations of dioxin (whose main producer is Mother Russia) was "found" in his food which disfigured his face and eventually gave a lot of press material on the eve of the orange revolution in which he was running against a pro-Russian candidate. Playing the hero who has survived an assasination attempt by the local henchmen of the evil Russians, he quickly secured many warm places in ukrainian hearts and was elected the president. His dining friends disappeared from the country immediately, only to be found in the last place to look, Russia! An eternal land of care and smiling faces, Mother Russia embraced those guys and they became Russian citizens, making it impossible to extradicate to Ukraine for the charges of adding some chemicals to food, which has long become a national Russian sport (and perfected in the polonium flavoured tea that crippled a dissident KGB spy, Litvinov). The same people who has vanished and live carefree lives in Russia are now accusing Yuschenko for fabricating this event for his political ambitions.

Next time try our polonium cakes, they are really tasty

From zero to hero...here comes the Beast

The beauty and the beast

Think about some people of Turkish origin, having risen to top spots in Greek intelligence (highly impossible but would be a great thing though), having a lunch with Karamanlis (the prime minister) to add some poison to his mousakka and ouzo to make him resemble an orc (which he does actually). Then escaping to Turkey to have Turkish passports and claiming that he was ill because the Greeks never ever knew how to make a musakka , a Turkish version of the same food based on eggplant and tomato. What would happen??

2. The US plan to deploy a missile shield against a terrorist threat (imagine a terrorist organisation that would launch multiple intercontinental missiles against the USA...I think the Bush administration is way over their daily dose of imagination) has been wildly received by the Magic Duo of Russia (Putin and Medvedev) and the Russian pipelines that stretched to Czech Republic (one of the key locations of the missile shield) ran dry immediately. Russians announced that it was just a "technical failure" and they could deploy long range bombers in Cuba. The last time they wanted to send some weapons to this stinking caribbean island pushed the world to the brink of nuclear war and now with Russian leaders as unpredictable as Kruschov and their American counterparts as unlikely beloved as Kennedy, it seems a showdown of the rise of the New Red Army backed with petrodollars will be much more deadlier.

Here is the deal (Click to enlarge)

Ok...now think about what we, Turkish, would do in case of such an event. I think some thousand unemployed people would gather up under the sizzling sun near the Czech Embassy and break some Czech beer bottles to call for a wideout ban on Czech imports (as far as I know we have none), set some Czech flags on fire (none of those protesters would ever know the shape and colours of the Czech flag so probably an Israeli flag would be burned after all) and then continue their lives using the other imported goods that they have been deliriously burning and smashing in protest of some other thing before.